"How can something so small create so much of something so disgusting?"

"When I'm good, I'm very, very good, but when I'm bad, I'm better."

"I'm one stomach flu away from reaching my goal weight."

"And, um, you tend to let whatever's in your head come out of your mouth without much consideration of the consequences. But the thing is, um, what I'm trying to say, very inarticulately, is that, um, in fact, perhaps despite appearances, I like you, very much. Just as you are."

"Hello, gorgeous."

"Fasten your seat belts. It's going to be a bumpy night."

"You know who your daddy is, dontcha? Gary, if you want to play on this football team, you answer me when I ask you who is your daddy? Who's your daddy, Gary? Who's your daddy?"

"They're gonna come in here -- they're gonna come in here -- they're gonna come in here and get us! Game over, man! Game over!"

"La-dee-da, la-dee-da."

"You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view ... till you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it."

"Well, I got her number. How do you like them apples?"

"I did it when I was a freshman, and you'll do it when you're seniors. But you're doing great. Now fry like bacon, you little freshman piggies. Fry!"